I will never forget Thanksgiving evening 2012. It was the night I got to watch my New England Patriots score five touchdowns in a single quarter just a few yards in front of me. Best of all, they happened to score those touchdowns against the New York Jets, one of them off the notorious Mark Sanchez butt fumble. It was one of the best nights of my life.
Unfortunately, for Ed Anzalone, a.k.a. “Fireman Ed”, the evening was not nearly as enjoyable. In fact, he had such a bad night that the “super fan” walked out at halftime and quit his “J-E-T-S” routine for good. Since Ed’s departure, the Jets have desperately tried to come up with a way for the degenerate mouth-breathing season ticket holders for their club to come together in a show of solidarity. When I visited Metlife last fall for the “15-yard penalty for pushing your own teammate” game, the contrived gig of the moment was a Nick Cannon-reject drum line called “The Aviators”.
Apparently the Jets PR brain trust realized that they were plum out of ideas this off-season and so they went to Plan W, which consisted of wining and dining Fireman Ed and begging him to come back.
Fireman Ed rejected them.