Around the NFL: 07/01/11

Around the NFL is a weekly feature on Foxboro Blog offering an irreverent (and sometimes humorous) look at some of the top news stories from the NFL. Read at your own risk!

  • Former Patriot Heath Evans was in the news this week after admitting to using a SWATS spray that may include banned performance enhancers. It also includes deer antler velvet extract. The stuff not only makes players run faster, but also causes rutting season in late April or early May (hey, it beats training camp, right?).
  • During his radio show this week, Dolphins LB Channing Crowder said that he “hypothetically” received improper benefits from selling his college jerseys. After a small media uproar, he backtracked, saying that it was a publicity stunt to draw more attention to his new radio show. I’m glad we all learned that lying about illicit activity is a perfectly acceptable way to draw attention to yourself. I might have to try that sometime.
  • Wisconsin’s new concealed firearms law may allow fans to bring guns to games. Packers officials fear that the law could give Lions fans another avenue to end their suffering.
  • Kenny Britt surrendered to Nashville police this week on two warrants pertaining to submitting false information on driver’s license applications. I’m sure it was an honest mistake. He probably just listed the county courthouse as his mailing address.
  • The LeSean McCoy-New York Giants Twitter slapfight continued this week with Justin Tuck calling McCoy a coward. It’s amazing how grown men can devolve into the cast of Hell Cats as soon as you hand them a smartphone.
  • T.O. was in the news twice this week, and neither story is good. He had surgery to repair a torn ACL in April, which is never a good sign for opening the season healthy (unless you’re Wes Welker). He also failed to make a $5K child support payment this week, reportedly on the advice of his financial advisors. I’m not sure what kind of financial advisor tells his client to stop supporting his family so he can continue to live comfortably in his mansion, but I’d imagine that firm scored a few new clients from the NBA.
  • I just hypothetically took a very satisfying dump on Channing Crowder’s porch.
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