2. Worst press conference moment
Calling Mike Vanderjagt an “idiot kicker”. Look, we all know that Vanderjerk needed to keep his mouth shut, but you don’t throw your teammates under the bus like that – especially if you’re the team leader.
3. Lamest Advertisement
Peyton Manning will clearly shill for whatever company or product will throw some money at him. I’m still waiting for him to show up in a Valtrex ad. “Hello, my name is Peyton Manning, and I have genital herpes.” However, until that one hits the airwaves the Oreos Double Stuff Racing team has to take the cake.
I bet Archie Manning wished he had a vesectomy after watching that one.
4. Worst Player Backed Up in College
Todd Helton – the guy plays for the Colorado Rockies!
5. Lamest Photo
Finding a picture of Peyton Manning looking like a goober is like finding a three leaf clover. There are so many to chose from, but this one of Manning and Dungy about to french kiss may be my favorite.
You won’t ever see a shot like that from Brady and Belichick. Those two celebrate using a secret handshake where they clang their eight combined Super Bowl rings together.
6. Worst facial feature
Peyton Manning’s head is more dysmorphic than Stewie Griffin’s. One of my favorite things in life is a Peyton Manning interception, followed by him angrily ripping of his helmet to reveal that gigantic forehead of his, all angry and red from being stuffed inside his helmet. It’s a beauiful sight to behold.
At least he’s found a way to put it to good use during those balmy summer nights in Indianapolis!
7. Wussiest Rule Change
After Peyton Manning pitched a hissy fit about the Patriots defense roughing up his receivers, the league changed the league cracked down to help the Colts out a bit. Notice how the Pats/Colts rivalry became decidedly less one-sided after that change was made…
8. Biggest scandal
Peyton Manning mooned a woman in college which ended in a lawsuit.
9. Lamest Celebrity fan
Kenny Chesney and Peyton Manning have a recorded duet where they sing the following lyrics.
Whatever it takes to win your love
I hire me an airplane, have it paint your name up in the sky above
I tell the world I’m yours, put it on a billboard out on the interstate
If it takes forever to get us together
Honey I’ll do whatever it takes